355+ Funny Christmas Wishes, Messages and Greetings

Ah, the joyous season of Christmas is upon us! 🎄 It’s that magical time of year when our spirits are lighter, our homes brighter, and our hearts fuller. Amidst the delightful chaos of searching for the perfect Christmas gifts, decking our halls with charming Christmas decorations, and of course, the never-ending quest for those drool-worthy Christmas recipes that make our festive feasts ones to remember, we often find ourselves reflecting on the importance of sharing heartfelt emotions and laughter with our loved ones.

What better way to spread cheer and joy than through funny Christmas wishes, messages, and greetings? 😂🎅 They say laughter is the greatest gift, and during the holidays, it’s the currency of human connection. Imagine your family and friends’ faces lighting up like the star atop your Christmas tree as they read a hilarious message thoughtfully crafted by you! These humorous quips and jests serve not only as an antidote to the usual hustle and bustle but also as a reminder that joy doesn’t reside in mere objects.

While we honor traditions through soul-stirring Christmas poems and reverent Christmas prayers, infusing humor into our holiday communications is a wonderful way to create unforgettable memories and remind our loved ones that happiness is truly the essence of this festive season. So, buckle up for a sleigh ride of laughter and good cheer as we delve into crafting the perfect funny Christmas wishes, messages, and greetings that are sure to have your dear ones ho-ho-ho-ing through the holidays! 🛷✨

Funny Christmas Wishes Sure To Get A Laugh

• “Remember to smile this Christmas – it’s the best way to get your family to think you’re actually thrilled with the socks and sweater combo!”
• “Merry Christmas! May your happiness be large and your bills be small.”
• “This Christmas, may your family be functional and all your batteries be included.”
• “Merry Christmas! Let’s all be naughty and save Santa the trip this year.”
• “I wish you a Merry Christmas. But don’t get too merry, that eggnog can be deceptive!”
• “Happy Holidays! Hope your Christmas is out of this world and includes at least one extraterrestrial!”
• “May your Christmas be like Santa – fat, jolly, and generous!”
• “Ho Ho Hope you’ve been good this year. Remember, Santa’s elves are watching!”
• “Merry Christmas! Pro tip: if you can’t wrap a gift with perfection, it’s a good idea to distract the recipient with humor!”
• “Here’s to a wonderful Christmas filled with lots of rest, relaxation, and the strong need for a diet come New Year’s Day!”
• “Keep calm and jingle on! Wishing you uproarious laughter and light-hearted moments with loved ones this Christmas.”
• “This festive season, may your credit card’s limit be as inflated as Santa’s belly!”
• “Santa saw your Instagram pictures. You’re getting clothes and a Bible for Christmas.”
• “Merry Christmas! Quick reminder—if you don’t get everything you want, remember the Three Wise Men didn’t get their gifts from Mary and Joseph until February!”
• “Wishing you a holiday season filled with less fruitcake and more cake-cake. Merry Christmas!”
• “Cheers to a holiday season of retelling the same story at ten different gatherings. Happy Holidays!”
• “May your sweaters be ugly and bright, and your heart light up with delight. Have a goofy Christmas!”
• “Here’s to a season of bending the holiday rule book and having a bit too much fun. Merry Christmas!”
• “This Christmas, may your gifts be many, and your returns and exchanges be few. Happy holidays!”
• “Wishing you a jolly holiday season with an abundance of love, happiness, and of course, food. Diet? What diet? Merry Christmas!”

Naughty and Funny Christmas Wishes

• “Merry Christmas! This year, let’s be naughty and save Santa a trip. Surely we deserve a bit of fun!”
• “May your Christmas be more delightful than a kiss under the mistletoe from someone you’ve been eyeing all year.”
• “Let’s face it — this year, the only thing getting ‘lit’ this Christmas will be us. Cheers to a season of slight bad decisions and a lot of fun!”
• “Santa might not visit your house this year if he checks your browser history. Merry Christmas anyway!”
• “Deck the halls with boughs of naughtiness and mischief this Christmas season!”
• “Wishing you an electrifying Christmas with nights as memorable as the days. What happens under the mistletoe, stays under the mistletoe!”
• “This Christmas, let’s be naughty and have Santa jealous of our fun. Happy Holidays!”
• “Who needs a gift when we can misbehave and still get away with it? Merry Christmas!”
• “Santa’s making a list, checking it twice, going to find out who’s naughty and… oh wait, it’s just us!”
• “May your Christmas be thrilling, filled with clandestine giggles and winks of complicity. Cheers to our fun times ahead!”
• “Remember: It’s not about what’s under the Christmas tree but who’s around it… and what you’re doing when the lights go out. Merry Christmas!”
• “This holiday season, let’s ensure the mistletoe is not the only thing getting ‘action’ in the house. Wishing you an adventurous Christmas!”
• “If you see a fat man sneaking into your house, don’t worry, I told Santa I wanted a friend like you for Christmas.”
• “Season’s Greetings! May your ‘nice’ list be conveniently missing and your ‘naughty’ list be more fun than ever.”
• “May the thrill of being on Santa’s naughty list add excitement to your festive season. After all, who likes being predictable?”
• “Santa called, you’ve been naughty! But I suppose the season forgives a bit of mischief. Enjoy every cheeky moment!”
• “Cheers to a holiday season of stolen kisses under the mistletoe and a fair share of good-natured Christmas mischief!”
• “Wishing you a holiday as fun and exciting as a midnight rendezvous with Santa’s elves. Get your party shoes on!”
• “This Christmas, may your treats be sweet and your tricks even sweeter. Enjoy the naughty list, my friend!”
• “Remember, what happens at the North Pole, stays at the North Pole. Wishing you a delightfully mischievous Christmas season!”

Funny Christmas Puns

• “Yule be sorry if you don’t take the time to enjoy a good pun this Christmas!”
• “Hope your Christmas is tree-mendous and you feel pine all season long!”
• “Have yourself a berry merry Christmas, full of laughter and good cheer!”
• “This holiday season, let’s get elf-ed up and have a jingle ball!”
• “Fleece Navidad! Hope your Christmas is as warm and fuzzy as a sheep!”
• “I’m dreaming of a white Christmas, but if the white runs out, I’ll drink the red!”
• “Sleigh my name, sleigh my name. Wishing you a festive holiday buzz!”
• “Have an ice Christmas! Don’t let your spirits melt away this festive season!”
• “Yule be rockin’ around the Christmas tree with these puns, having a holly, jolly time!”
• “Oh deer, Christmas is here! Wishing you a rackin’ good time!”
• “Hope your holidays are as lit as Rudolph’s nose!”
• “‘Tis the season to be freezin’! Stay warm and toasty, my friend!”
• “May your days be meowry and bright this Christmas season!”
• “What did one ornament say to another? ‘I like hanging with you!’ Merry Christmas!”
• “This Christmas, let’s take it one sip at a time. Cheers to a brew-tiful holiday season!”
• “Season’s Greetings! All I want for Christmas is ewe!”
• “Let’s hope Santa isn’t Claustrophobic, he does spend a lot of time in tight spaces. Happy Holidays!”
• “Wrap, paper, scissors! Hope you cut through the holiday stress and have a fabulous Christmas!”
• “Don’t spend too much time pondering the fronds and family, just have a tree-rific Christmas!”
• “Feast mode is on! Wishing you an egg-cellent meal and a cracker of a Christmas!”

Funny Christmas Wishes for Friends

• “Merry Christmas! I put so much thought into your gift that now it’s too late to get it!”
• “May your holiday season be filled with lots of wine, laughter, and regrettable karaoke. Merry Christmas, my friend!”
• “Happy Holidays! Here’s to saving the wrapping paper and blaming the dog when aunt’s present goes missing!”
• “Merry Christmas! If you receive a gift with no price tag, it’s a sure sign I forgot to remove it from the clearance sticker.”
• “Wishing you a holiday season as lazy as the fat man who delivers gifts only once a year. Merry Christmas!”
• “Cheers to surviving another year of my friendship. May your Christmas be fun-filled, and your new year be less troublesome (thanks to me)!”
• “Happy Holidays! May your fire be warm and your home be bright. And may your Christmas be not as terrible as your year!”
• “Merry Christmas! I considered getting you something you’d love, but a day without my sarcasm just wouldn’t feel right.”
• “Hope you love the ‘nothing’ I got you for Christmas. It’s exactly what you asked for! Enjoy the simplicity!”
• “Merry Christmas! I got you the best present ever: my friendship for another year. You’re welcome!”
• “Jingle all the way, and all that jazz. Wishing you a festive season of eating, drinking, and, of course, blaming the calories on Santa!”
• “Wishing you a Merry Christmas and reminding you that you’re now one year closer to being that crazy cat person.”
• “Merry Christmas! If a fat guy snatches you in the middle of the night, don’t worry, I asked for good friends this Christmas.”
• “Happy Holidays! I wish you peace, love, joy, and all the doughnuts you can eat. Christmas calories don’t count!”
• “Merry Christmas! May you spend this season the way Jesus intended—using your birthday to get gifts!”
• “Here’s to a Christmas of love and joy, and winning every single family board game. Game on, my friend!”
• “Merry Christmas! I hope your wine glass never empties and your family drama is kept to a minimum this year.”
• “The tree isn’t the only thing getting lit this year. Wishing you a holiday season as fun as our adventures!”
• “I told Santa you were good all year. He died laughing. Merry Christmas, anyway!”
• “Happy Holidays! May your eggnog be spiked with plenty of rum to get through this holiday season. Cheers, my friend!”

Funny Christmas Wishes For Husband

• “Merry Christmas to the man who knows all of my flaws but still sticks around for the homemade cookies.”
• “Happy Holidays to the one I love. Thank you for making my Christmas wishes come true, but can we skip the caroling this year?”
• “To my dear husband: I might not always want to hear your puns, but I still love you more than Santa loves cookies. Merry Christmas!”
• “Merry Christmas! I love you more than I love shopping for gifts, and you know that says a lot.”
• “The best part of Christmas is spending it with you, my dear husband. Well, that and not having to assemble the kids’ toys by myself!”
• “Dear hubby, I love you more than Christmas morning. But just to be clear, I still want presents under the tree!”
• “Merry Christmas to my significant other half. You’re the only gift I won’t be returning this year!”
• “Happy Holidays to the man who makes my snowy days warmer. Just a reminder, I love diamond rings more than snowflakes!”
• “Merry Christmas to my wonderful husband. I got you the best gift ever — one more year of devotion from your amazing wife!”
• “Cheers to another Christmas with the world’s best husband. Your gift is…me! Aren’t you lucky?”
• “Wishing a Merry Christmas to the man who makes my heart light up like a fully-decorated tree, but please, don’t put tinsel in the bed again.”
• “This Christmas, let’s agree to save some money and not get each other gifts. P.S.: I already got you one. Now it’s your turn!”
• “Merry Christmas to my adorable husband. If you see me jolly this season, it’s because I’ve found the Christmas candy stash!”
• “Merry Christmas! Let’s be naughty this year and save Santa the trip. It’s environmentally friendly, and I know you love the Earth!”
• “Happy Holidays, my love. Here’s to another year of tolerating the in-laws and pretending to share the remote control!”
• “To my husband: Merry Christmas to the man who holds my heart (and my shopping bags).”
• “May this Christmas remind you how much you mean to me, because a day without my husband is like a Christmas tree without lights. Quite dull!”
• “Season’s Greetings to my partner in crime. Let’s promise to never spend more on decorations than on gifts for each other. Deal?”
• “Happy Christmas! I love you more than all the stars on the tree, but please, no more singing Christmas carols at 2 AM.”
• “Wishing a joyful season to the one who still manages to warm my heart in the coldest of winters. Merry Christmas, my love!”

Funny Christmas Wishes For Girlfriend

• “Merry Christmas to the girl who stole my heart and my credit card for holiday shopping. You’re priceless, though!”
• “Happy Holidays, sweetheart! If you think I’m good under the mistletoe, just wait until you see me under the Christmas tree!”
• “Merry Christmas to the girl who knows all my flaws but agrees to be my gift every year. You’re my favorite present!”
• “To my dear girlfriend, I wanted to get you something special this Christmas, but you already have the best gift around: me!”
• “Merry Christmas, love! Here’s to a cozy day filled with love, laughter, and not questioning my wrapping skills.”
• “Happy Holidays to the one who makes every day feel like Christmas! But please, let’s not overdo the matching sweaters again.”
• “Merry Christmas, darling! If I could, I would gift-wrap my love for you; it’s slightly large and awkward, just like your fluffy Christmas socks!”
• “Sweetheart, I don’t need any gifts this Christmas because I have you… But I wouldn’t say no to chocolates. Merry Christmas!”
• “To the girl who lights up my life: may your Christmas be as bright and beautiful as the smile you brought to my life. And less tinsel, please. It’s itchy!”
• “Merry Christmas to my lovely girlfriend. Let’s share a silent night together… after you explain the credit card bill for the holiday shopping!”
• “Wishing you a magical Christmas filled with all the things you love and absolutely none of my bad jokes!”
• “Happy Holidays, babe! Let’s make this Christmas unforgettable (just like the time you burnt the Christmas cookies but looked adorable doing it)!”
• “Merry Christmas, sweetie! Let’s promise each other to make this one as joyful and as diet-free as possible.”
• “All I want for Christmas is you… and maybe some extra caroling lessons for us. We make a festive, if not exactly harmonious, duo!”
• “Merry Christmas to the woman who makes my heart jingle all the way, every day. Just a heads up, I’m the real gift here!”
• “Happy Holidays to the girl of my dreams. Let’s enjoy the Christmas lights while we discuss why Rudolph would be the ultimate GPS for road trips.”
• “This Christmas, I’m yours and you’re mine. Let’s skip the formalities and jump right to the eggnog, shall we?”
• “Merry Christmas, love! I’m so grateful you’re in my life and even more grateful you have great taste in Christmas cookies!”
• “They say Christmas is the time for giving, so I’m giving you all my love. In exchange, can I have the last piece of pie?”
• “Joyful wishes to my one and only. May our Christmas be like our relationship: fun, sweet, and not overly commercialized!”

Funny Christmas Wishes For Boyfriend

• “Merry Christmas to the one who has the honor of being my boyfriend for yet another joyous season! Your gift? My endless affection (and maybe a homemade cookie or two)!”
• “Happy Holidays to the guy who’s my cold weather cuddle buddy. Thanks for making the season bright and my heart lighter (though I can’t say the same for my holiday food-filled stomach)!”
• “All I want for Christmas is you… but please also remember that I wear a size small and love sparkly things. Merry Christmas, my love!”
• “To the man who’s my favorite Christmas gift every year: How did you manage to get stuck with someone who has such expensive taste? Merry Christmas, darling!”
• “Merry Christmas! I’m looking forward to spending some quality time with you and maybe, some quantity time with the Christmas chocolates.”
• “Happy Holidays to my handsome man. I love you more than Santa loves cookies and milk, and that’s saying something!”
• “Merry Christmas, babe. Thanks for being the jingle in my bells, the holly in my jolly, and for putting up with all my Christmas carols!”
• “This Christmas, let’s make it a holiday to remember, and please, let’s pretend that my wrapping paper disaster was a creative choice. Love you!”
• “To the guy who stole my heart: you can keep it. All I want for Christmas is a photo of us together… but a diamond wouldn’t hurt either. Merry Christmas!”
• “Season’s Greetings to the one who warms my heart on the coldest December nights. Just remember, I’m the best gift you’re gonna get this year!”
• “Merry Christmas to the one I love. May our evening be filled with romance, your pockets filled with mistletoe, and my stockings filled with presents!”
• “Happy Christmas, my love. Here’s to sharing a mistletoe kiss and not commenting on how many gingerbread cookies I’ve eaten.”
• “You’ve been extra nice this year. I checked twice. So, Santa’s bringing you extra kisses from me. Merry Christmas, sweetheart!”
• “You’re the reason I look forward to Christmas, but let’s be honest, the presents don’t hurt. Can’t wait to spend the holidays with you, my love!”
• “Merry Christmas to my favorite person to watch holiday movies with. May this season be filled with cuddles, laughter, and no judgment for my ugly Christmas sweater.”
• “Happy Holidays to the one who makes every Christmas merry. Let’s deck the halls with boughs of holly and your amazing cooking, please!”
• “This Christmas, I’m gifting you my heart along with a reminder that you’re stuck with me. Cheers to love, laughter, and your tolerable in-laws!”
• “They say happiness cannot be wrapped in a gift box, but then they haven’t seen you in a bow. Merry Christmas, my gift!”
• “To my beloved Grinch who stole Christmas: You can have it, as long as I get to keep you. Merry Christmas, my love!”
• “Cheers to a boyfriend who is bad at gifting but great at loving. Can’t wait to spend Christmas with you!”

Funny Christmas Messages For Colleagues

• “Merry Christmas! May your holiday be less of a ‘silent night’ and more of a ‘jingle bell rock’! And remember, calories from the office party don’t count!”
• “Happy Holidays! Here’s to hoping that Santa brings us a new coffee machine in the staff room. We all know we need it.”
• “Season’s Greetings! May your holidays be like the best of meetings: short and with snacks available.”
• “Merry Christmas! If we listen closely, the jingling bells sound just like a call for the end of our last conference call of the year!”
• “Happy Holidays! Let’s all take a moment to reflect on the Christmas miracle of all of us making it through those never-ending team meetings.”
• “Merry Christmas! Here’s hoping that your holiday will be far more enjoyable than any day in the office!”
• “Wishing you a festive holiday season filled with laughter, joy, and, most importantly, no emails!”
• “Happy Christmas! May your festive break be like the best project: delivered on time and under budget!”
• “Merry Christmas! Here’s to a holiday filled with warmth, joy, and the avoidance of our boss at the office Christmas party.”
• “Cheers to a holiday season free from the phrase ‘just one more quick question before you go’! Merry Christmas!”
• “Happy Holidays! May all your festive days be merry and bright and may your out-of-office response fend off any unwanted work emails.”
• “Season’s Greetings! Wishing you a relaxed holiday period with zero thoughts of reports, deadlines, or conference calls.”
• “Merry Christmas! Here’s to enjoying the holiday season before we’re all back to racing for the best parking spot!”
• “Happy Holidays! I hope you love the gift of not seeing each other for the next few days! Enjoy!”
• “Merry Christmas! If anyone asks, I’m diligently working on that project with a glass of eggnog in one hand and a gingerbread cookie in the other.”
• “Wishing you a Merry Christmas and a New Year filled with fresh coffee, functioning office equipment, and meetings that don’t overrun!”
• “Happy Holidays! Let’s be honest, the true Christmas miracle in our office would be the printer working consistently.”
• “Season’s Greetings! I’m dreaming of a white Christmas, but if the white runs out, I’ll drink the red. Enjoy responsibly!”
• “Merry Christmas! May your inbox be light and your out-of-office reply be tight. Cheers to a work-free holiday!”
• “Happy Holidays! Here’s to not mistaking a sales call for Santa’s hotline over the festive season!”

Funny Christmas Greetings For Brother

• “Merry Christmas! Here’s to hoping Santa still delivers to adults who never really grew up. You should be covered!”
• “Happy Holidays, Bro! May your Christmas be filled with lots of relaxation and your New Year with minimal ‘borrowing’ of my stuff.”
• “Merry Christmas to my favorite sibling by default! May your holidays be as joyful as the day you realized I’m the favorite.”
• “Happy Christmas! May your day be merry, bright, and far from any ‘constructive criticism’ you’re planning to give me.”
• “Merry Christmas! Santa called and confirmed: you made the list this year. Shocking, I know!”
• “Season’s Greetings! I decided to get you something money can’t buy for Christmas this year: patience for dealing with me.”
• “Merry Christmas, bro! Here’s to a holiday season of sibling revelry, not rivalry. (That starts again at New Year.)”
• “Happy Holidays! Wishing you all the happiness of the season, which is a lot, considering you have me as a sibling.”
• “Merry Christmas! I’m looking forward to spending time with family… and you as well, of course.”
• “Joyous Noel! Remember: it’s not what’s under the Christmas tree that matters; it’s who’s around it. I guess you’re okay.”
• “Happy Christmas! I love the festive season – a time when we remember what’s truly important: blackmail material from childhood Christmas parties.”
• “Season’s Greetings! If anyone deserves a Merry Christmas, it’s you. After all, you’ve put up with me for how many years now?”
• “Merry Christmas! May your holiday cheer be as big as the credit card bill I’m racking up for Mom and Dad!”
• “Happy Holidays! Let’s share the season’s joy and divide the household chores. I’ll take the former.”
• “Merry Christmas! Remember, calories don’t count if we eat the holiday treats fast enough. Game on!”
• “Season’s Greetings! In the spirit of giving, I’ve decided to give you a break from my awesomeness. You’re welcome.”
• “Merry Christmas! I can’t wait to spend the holidays indulging in mom’s cooking with you — ready, set, elastic waistbands!”
• “Happy Holidays! I’m grateful for many things this Christmas, and having a brother who can fix my tech issues is one of them.”
• “Merry Christmas! May your heart be light, your presents heavy, and your patience with me infinite.”
• “Happy Holidays! Here’s to another year of sibling fun, laughter, and the occasional ‘borrowing’ of clothes without asking.”

Funny Christmas Greetings For Sister

• “Merry Christmas! May you receive everything you wish for this year. Just remember, I am your greatest gift!”
• “Happy Holidays, sis! Here’s to hoping the Christmas lights find you in a less tangled state than your headphones.”
• “Merry Christmas! I told Santa you were good this year and sent him a fake news report as proof. Enjoy the presents!”
• “Season’s Greetings! Wishing you a holiday as sweet as Christmas cookies and not at all nutty like the rest of us.”
• “Merry Christmas! Remember, calories don’t count on Christmas, so let’s tackle the dessert table like it’s our job.”
• “Happy Holidays! I’ve decided to give you the most precious gift of all this Christmas: no sibling rivalry.”
• “Merry Christmas! May your day be merry and bright, and may all your Christmases be free of sibling fights.”
• “Happy Christmas! You know what’s better than a Christmas card? Having me as your sibling. You’re welcome.”
• “Merry Christmas to someone who’s absolutely priceless! Mainly because I’ve always had trouble selling you.”
• “Season’s Greetings! May your Christmas be like a great selfie with us: bright, merry, and with everyone looking their best!”
• “Happy Holidays! If laughter is the best medicine, your presence is the cure-all. Thanks for the overdose!”
• “Merry Christmas, sis! Here’s to loving, sharing, and not telling Santa what we really know about each other!”
• “Happy Christmas! Just a reminder that the best Christmas gifts come from the heart, not the store. That’s why I’m giving you this card!”
• “Season’s Greetings! In the holiday spirit of peace and love, I promise not to mention your childhood nickname until next year.”
• “Merry Christmas! Here’s hoping Santa brings you plenty of presents and zero judgment for last year’s shenanigans.”
• “Happy Holidays! May the joy of Christmas fill your heart, just like the laundry you should be doing fills your room.”
• “Merry Christmas! I’m not saying you’re old, but if you were a toy, kids would probably call you ‘vintage.’ Enjoy the day!”
• “Season’s Greetings! Wishing you the beauty, blessings, and sheer terror of finding me under your Christmas tree!”
• “Merry Christmas! Remember, it’s the thought that counts. So, I thought I’d save my money instead of buying you a gift. It’s the thought that counts, right?”
• “Happy Holidays! They say that friends are the family you choose, but you’ll always be both. Thanks for dealing with my weirdness all these years!”

Funny Christmas Greetings

• “Merry Christmas! If a fat man breaks into your house and you end up with a sack of presents, it’s just me. Not Santa.”
• “Happy Holidays! Remember: don’t try to diet this Christmas. Your food will get offended.”
• “Merry Christmas! May your credit card bills be as low as your expectations for a peaceful family dinner.”
• “Season’s Greetings! If you get scared when you hear ‘ho ho ho’ at midnight, don’t worry. It’s just Santa, not your ghost of Christmas past.”
• “Merry Christmas! Remember, the best gift is not what’s under the tree, but who’s around it. So, I’m sending myself.”
• “Happy Holidays! May your fire be warm and your home be bright. Just don’t mix those up, or Christmas could get exciting!”
• “Merry Christmas! If you see a jolly man who’s jolly well dressed, it’s either Santa or someone who raided his wardrobe.”
• “Season’s Greetings! May your holidays be like Santa – fat, cheerful, and generous. But let’s skip the breaking and entering part.”
• “Happy Christmas! If you don’t like my present, it’s the thought that counts. Remember, I thought about getting you a better one!”
• “Merry Christmas! Here’s to a holiday season free from batteries not included, assembly required, and ‘some disassembly may occur during shipping.'”
• “Happy Holidays! May your eggnog be spiked with joy and your home filled with drunken elves… I mean, happiness.”
• “Merry Christmas! If you see someone without a smile this Christmas, give them yours. Or a drink. Whichever works faster.”
• “Season’s Greetings! Remember, Christmas is about presents. No, presence! Wait…let’s just agree it’s about both and call it a day.”
• “Happy Christmas! They say it’s better to give than to receive, so feel free to donate my gift back to me!”
• “Merry Christmas! May you never be too grown-up to search the skies for reindeer… or too tipsy from holiday cheer to see them.”
• “Happy Holidays! If Christmas is all about joy and love, then why did they put mistletoe and not mistle-hugs?”
• “Merry Christmas! Just a reminder that what happens under the mistletoe stays under the mistletoe.”
• “Season’s Greetings! If you receive a gift with no price tag, it’s priceless… or I forgot to remove the clearance sticker.”
• “Happy Christmas! I hope your holiday season is so merry that Santa feels compelled to start a diet come New Year’s.”
• “Merry Christmas! If you can’t wrap Christmas presents well, at least make it look like they put up a good fight.”

Funny Christmas Quotes

• “I told Santa I wanted a fat bank account and a slim body. Hopefully, he doesn’t mix those two up like he did last year.”
• “Christmas is mostly for children. But we adults can enjoy it too, until the credit card bills arrive.”
• “Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? Because you do all the work, and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.”
• “Once again, we come to the holiday season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.”
• “A lovely thing about Christmas is that it’s compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.”
• “Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.”
• “Christmas is a state of mind and that special feeling that only comes with an empty bank account.”
• “There are three stages of man: he believes in Santa Claus; he does not believe in Santa Claus; he is Santa Claus.”
• “Do give books for Christmas. They’re never fattening, seldom sinful, and permanently personal.”
• “Nothing’s as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas.”
• “I’m dreaming of a white Christmas. But if the white runs out, I’ll drink the red.”
• “The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear. But if you can’t sing, just start the wine.”
• “The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other.”
• “Christmas is the season when you buy this year’s gifts with next year’s money.”
• “I haven’t taken my Christmas lights down. They look so nice on the pumpkin.”
• “Christmas shopping: I either love it or hate it, depending on whether I’m the one paying.”
• “If you can’t commit to a New Year’s resolution, remember, there are still 12 days of Christmas left.”
• “Three phrases that sum up Christmas are: Peace on Earth, Goodwill to Men, and Batteries not Included.”
• “Sending Christmas cards is a good way to let your friends and family know that you think they’re worth the price of a stamp.”
• “I stopped believing in Santa when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store, and he asked for my autograph.”

Funny Christmas Wishes for Holiday Cards

• “Merry Christmas! May your happiness be large and your bills be small.”
• “This holiday season let’s make it a point to cherish what we have and share the love. That’s a whole lot cheaper than buying everyone gifts!”
• “May your eggnog be spiked with plenty of rum to get you through this holiday season. Merry Christmas and a Happy Whatever-Comes-Next!”
• “May your longest list this Christmas be the one that counts your blessings. And may your longest line be the one at the return counter the day after Christmas.”
• “Merry Christmas! If you didn’t get a gift from me, it’s because your naughty list behavior was reported to Santa. Better luck next year!”
• “May the calories of Christmas disappear by the New Year. Merry Christmas!”
• “Wishing you a holiday season filled with stress, cold, and anger. Hey, at least we’re honest with each other!”
• “Merry Christmas! I put so much thought into your gift that it’s now too late to get it. How about a hug?”
• “Hoping Santa leaves you a medical plan under the tree, because while holidays are joyful, they’re not kind to the waistline. Merry Christmas!”
• “Wishing you some decked out holiday glee, and a jolly Christmas spent with family and one or two glasses of bubbly!”
• “May you forgive your enemies and those that have wronged you this Christmas. Remember: it’s the thought that counts, and I think you’re great!”
• “Cheers to drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies while lying about the diet you’re going to start after New Year’s. Merry Christmas!”
• “Merry Christmas! May you be surrounded by hoards of presents, but none that you feel the urge to return.”
• “This Christmas, may your family be functional and all your batteries be included. Merry Christmas!”
• “May this Christmas find you taking photos that are actually card-worthy. Merry Christmas!”
• “Jingle all the way, and all that jazz. Stock up on the merriment and don’t forget to grab a little buzz. Merry Christmas!”
• “Here’s to a season filled with warmth, comfort, and good cheer! Oh, and lots of laughter too!”
• “They say Christmas is a time for smiles. How can I smile if my wallet has just lost its holiday weight? Merry Christmas!”
• “Let’s celebrate the baby who saved the world by trying not to ruin it all over again this Christmas.”
• “Remember to give thanks for what you have this Christmas, which is plenty of room for improvement!”

Funny Santa Messages

• “Dear Santa, I’ve been good all year. Most of the time. Once in a while. Nevermind, I’ll buy my own stuff.”
• “Breaking News: Santa Claus is on strike this year! Looks like you’ll have to buy your own gifts, Merry Christmas!”
• “This Christmas, may Santa leave you with a full wallet and less of a waistline. Reverse would be quite tragic!”
• “May your Christmas be like Santa – fat, cheerful, and generous. No offense, Santa!”
• “Dear Santa, this year, could you fill my stocking with cash? I promise I’ll understand!”
• “Santa saw your Instagram pictures. You’re getting clothes and a Bible for Christmas.”
• “Alert: Santa’s been spotted and he looks suspiciously like dad on a diet! Merry Christmas!”
• “Dear Santa, I don’t have to be good because I’m cute, right? Right?!”
• “Dear Santa, for Christmas, I want a fat bank account and a slim body. Please don’t mix them up like you did last year.”
• “Santa’s sleigh broke down, he’s using an Uber to deliver gifts this year. Yours might be slightly delayed!”
• “Merry Christmas! Spoiler alert: Santa doesn’t believe in you either.”
• “Santa’s secret: The ‘Naughty’ list and the ‘Nice’ list are actually the same. Keep guessing which one you’re on.”
• “Hey Santa, if you leave presents under the tree, I’ll leave you a glass of wine. Deal?”
• “Dear Santa, is it too late to start being good?”
• “Santa called and confirmed, you’ve been more naughty than nice. But the good news is I’ve been nice enough for us both! Merry Christmas!”
• “Santa’s newest policy: He’s only delivering gifts to children who share their cookies. Better luck next year!”
• “Santa’s coming, quick, pretend to be good!”
• “Just a reminder, Santa knows what you did last summer, last winter, last night… pretty much all the time. Merry Christmas!”
• “I heard Santa started a diet, so don’t be surprised when he leaves carrots for you instead of sweets!”
• “Warning: Santa has decided to skip your house this year. Apparently, he’s still waiting for the thank you note from last year’s Christmas!”

Funny Christmas Wishes for Colleagues

• “Merry Christmas! Let’s all pretend that we like each other and that we love our jobs!”
• “Wishing you hit the jackpot for health, wealth, and happiness this holiday season…just don’t forget who your favorite colleagues are!”
• “Christmas tip: Make this holiday season less about work and more about play. May your holidays be happy days!”
• “Happy holidays! If you couldn’t tell, I’m using my “out of office” reply as my Christmas card this year.”
• “Merry Christmas to a fantastic colleague! Here’s to doing less work and having more fun during our Christmas break!”
• “If a fat man puts you in a bag this Christmas, don’t worry. I asked Santa for good colleagues this year!”
• “Merry Christmas! May you spend the holiday, pretending you like the gifts from Secret Santa!”
• “Cheers to a colleague who can turn even the most boring days into a Christmas party! Merry Christmas!”
• “May your Christmas bonus make up for the torture of enduring the 9 to 5 grind.”
• “This holiday season, let’s take this opportunity to make work fun. Ready, set, decorate your cubicle!”
• “Wishing you a holiday season as quiet as a mouse and as slow as a tortoise. See you back at the race in the new year!”
• “To my favorite work buddy: all I want for Christmas is you… to help me meet the year-end deadline. Just kidding, Merry Christmas!”
• “May your Christmas holiday be like the best meeting ever; no action points, just cocktails, laughter, and relaxation.”
• “Happy Holidays! Here’s to hoping the Christmas season fills our socks with cash instead of bills and our hearts with joy instead of stress.”
• “Season’s greetings! May your WiFi be strong, your coffee be strong, and your love for work be nonexistent during this holiday.”
• “Merry Christmas to someone who’s competent, hard-working, intelligent, but enough about me. Here’s to you striving to be as awesome as I am!”
• “Wishing you a fun-filled holiday season and best wishes for a Happy New Year! P.S. Please come back as the same cheerful colleague and not a grumpy bear.”
• “They say “It’s all fun and games until Santa checks the naughty list…” Let’s hope he wasn’t paying close attention to us at work this year! Happy Holidays!”
• “For Christmas, may your heart be light, your eggnog strong, and your spreadsheet empty. Cheers to a restful holiday!”
• “Merry Christmas to the one who knows all of my secrets…because we spend more time together at work than with our families. Enjoy your well-deserved time off!”

Funny Christmas Wishes for Boss

• “Merry Christmas! May your leadership be less about numbers, and more about Christmas parties this season!”
• “Happy Holidays! Here’s to a season of fewer meetings, more eggnog, and zero ‘just checking in’ emails!”
• “Dear boss, Merry Christmas! May your festive season be less ‘bossy’ and more ‘Santa’-like!”
• “Wishing you a relaxed holiday, Boss! May you forget about targets and remember only the taste of Christmas cookies!”
• “Merry Christmas, Boss! May your holiday be like a good performance review: full of praise and free from criticism!”
• “To the best boss ever: May your Christmas be filled with joy, peace, and a calendar devoid of last-minute tasks!”
• “Wishing you a holiday season filled with more ‘days off’ and fewer ‘let’s touch base’ meetings. Merry Christmas!”
• “Merry Christmas, Boss! Here’s hoping Santa brings you a bag full of inspiration and leadership for the New Year!”
• “Happy Holidays, Boss! We hope your ‘to-do’ list shrinks and your ‘wish’ list grows longer this season!”
• “This Christmas, may you be as happy at home as you make us in the office (without the work, of course)! Merry Christmas!”
• “Merry Christmas, Boss! May this holiday season bring you closer to all those that you treasure in your heart. Like us, your favorite employees!”
• “Here’s to a fabulous Christmas, Boss! May your inbox be light, your responses be automatic, and your spirits be bright!”
• “Wishing a wonderful Christmas to the person who knows best how to make every day feel like December 25th in the office!”
• “May this festive season be like your leadership: inspiring, full of surprises, and leaving everyone in awe. Merry Christmas, Boss!”
• “To the greatest boss: May your Christmas break be like your guidance – generous, insightful, and completely uninterrupted!”
• “Merry Christmas, Boss! We dream of a festive season where our biggest decision is ‘cookie or candy cane?’ not ‘deadline or overtime?’”
• “This holiday season, we’re wishing you all the peace and quiet you need to make those big decisions next year. Merry Christmas, Boss!”
• “Merry Christmas to the person who makes our workdays bright, may your holiday be merry, your heart light, and your email out-of-office all night!”
• “Happy holidays, Boss! If anyone deserves a break and a glass of good cheer, it’s the person reading this message right here!”
• “Season’s greetings, Boss! May your Christmas be full of the laughter of friends, the love of family, and the sounds of silence from your work phone!”

Funny Christmas Card Messages for Dad

• “Merry Christmas, Dad! Thank you for always pretending to be surprised by the gifts we ‘hid’ in plain sight!”
• “To the world’s greatest gift assembler, wishing you a Merry Christmas and a holiday season free from ‘some assembly required’!”
• “Happy Holidays, Dad! May your Christmas be filled with peace, joy, and a thermostat set exactly where you like it!”
• “Merry Christmas, Dad! Here’s to another year of skillfully dodging my questions about Santa’s existence!”
• “Dad, may your Christmas be like your dad jokes – never old and always making us smile! Merry Christmas!”
• “Wishing you a season filled with all your favorite things, Dad — naps, snacks, and us, of course! Merry Christmas!”
• “Merry Christmas, Dad! May you have the festive spirit to laugh at my jokes the way I laugh at yours (out of obligation)!”
• “Happy Holidays, Dad! I got you a ‘world’s best dad’ mug — just like every year, because why fix something that isn’t broken?”
• “Merry Christmas to the family’s designated Santa. I hope you remember where you hid the presents this year!”
• “Dad, may your Christmas be filled with as much marvel as I had when I learned you were actually Santa. Happy Holidays!”
• “Merry Christmas, Dad! This year, we promise to laugh genuinely at your jokes… well, we’ll do our best.”
• “Wishing you a Merry Christmas, Dad, filled with relaxation, joy, and absolutely no DIY tasks!”
• “Happy Holidays! May your Christmas be merry, bright, and may your dad jokes be bearable this festive season!”
• “To my beloved financier of Christmas past, present, and future – I love you, Dad. Have a budget-free Merry Christmas!”
• “Merry Christmas, Dad! May your day be filled with love, happiness, and a seamless victory in the annual family snowball fight!”
• “This Christmas, may your heart be light, your days be bright, and may you avoid stepping on any of those lights you meticulously hung. Merry Christmas, Dad!”
• “Cheers to the unsung Christmas hero who tests the tree lights and hangs the star on top! Dad, may your efforts be less ‘tangled’ this year. Merry Christmas!”
• “Merry Christmas, Dad! Here’s hoping for a holiday season so peaceful and quiet that you’re suspicious!”
• “Dad, I hope you love the presents you unwrap today almost as much as the ties you pretended to like over the years. Merry Christmas!”
• “Merry Christmas to the one who survives the holidays with a wallet and sanity barely intact. You’re a warrior, Dad!”

Funny Christmas Card Messages for Mom

• “Merry Christmas, Mom! Thanks for always ensuring the magic of Christmas didn’t involve seeing the credit card bills!”
• “Happy Holidays, Mom! May your Christmas be like your love: endless and full of wine!”
• “Merry Christmas to the lady who made sure Santa never got the ‘naughty list’ memo about me!”
• “Merry Christmas, Mom! Here’s to not having to pretend you adore the burnt cookies I made!”
• “To the world’s best cookie maker and tree decorator – thanks for making every Christmas ‘Pinterest-worthy’! Merry Christmas, Mom!”
• “Happy Holidays! May your Christmas be filled with the same miracle that you used to get me to behave every December!”
• “Merry Christmas, Mom! This year, I’m giving you the gift of my presence. Try to contain your excitement.”
• “Wishing you a fabulously festive Christmas, Mom. May your day be filled with love, joy, and absolutely no thoughts of starting the New Year’s cleaning early!”
• “Merry Christmas, Mom! I’m still waiting for the day you’ll reveal your secret identity as one of Santa’s elves!”
• “Happy Holidays to the woman who knows everything (including what I really did those nights I snuck out). Wishing you a blissful Christmas, Mom!”
• “Mom, may your Christmas be like the perfect snowflake – unique, beautiful, and with someone else shoveling the driveway! Merry Christmas!”
• “Merry Christmas, Mom! May your joy be large and your bills be small.”
• “Happy Holidays, Mom! Thanks for always being the ‘real Santa’ and still surprising us under the tree, even when we stopped believing.”
• “Merry Christmas to the only person I trust with a secret — and my favorite Christmas cookie recipe!”
• “Wishing a joyous Christmas to the woman who can turn a fruitcake into a feast! You’re a Christmas miracle, Mom!”
• “Merry Christmas, Mom! This year, I’m older but not wiser. Thanks for loving me anyway!”
• “To the person who tried to keep Santa real for way too long – Merry Christmas, Mom!”
• “Merry Christmas, Mom! Don’t worry, I won’t tell the elves about the ‘Santa snacks’ you snacked!”
• “Mom, wishing you the merriest of Christmases and a restful day for a change. P.S. That’s your gift — a day off from worrying about me!”
• “Cheers to the lady who filled our stockings with love, joy, and endless laundry. You’re my superstar, Mom. Merry Christmas!”